Last night I had a dream that told me a lot about myself. I'll share some of it here in case it resonates with anyone who reads this.
In the dream, I was sitting around a table with a few people from church, and we were discussing ideas and plans (I can't remember what they were about specifically). A couple of ideas were talked about, then one person started expanding on one particular idea and asking what I thought about it. I was hesitant; I said that I usually don't jump on board with an idea immediately, and I needed time to think about it. Then I said that I would really rather talk about lots of different ideas before we started making plans. If we spent a lot of time on an idea, we might go with it not because it was the best idea but because we invested so much time and energy in it, and we might not get around to considering ideas that would actually be better. Another person agreed and said they'd prefer to work that way too.
And I woke up with this on my mind, wondering if this is at the heart of why I struggle with moving forward sometimes. I am hesitant to fully jump on board; I want time to think it through, and I want to be able to consider all possible options before investing time and energy into one. And this kind of caution is a good thing-- but I wonder if I take it too far, if I spend too much time staying right where I am, immobilized because I'm trying to make sure I've considered all my options and have chosen the right and very best plan. On the other hand, too often I let my emotions get the best of me and I jump on board with a plan, only to jump off board pretty quickly once I start realizing it may not be the best plan.
When I am constantly in search of the best, I often end up stuck and not moving anywhere, afraid of mistakenly making the wrong choice. And I do a lot of thinking and dreaming about different ideas in the process, turning each one over in my head, examining it from every angle, thinking through pros and cons, and possibly driving other people (and myself) a little crazy in the process.
Does anyone else have this struggle, or am I alone here?