I am at a self-reflective time in my life. I know some of you are thinking, "When is she NOT in a self-reflective time?"
I've realized that I'm running out of the emotional energy to keep up the idealism that has been part of my life for so long. Many times I have created all these ideals for myself and then I don't understand why I can't do them all. I've often found myself thinking something must be wrong with me.
But nothing's wrong with me. I'm human, and I can't do it all. So I've been working on taking the pressure off myself, figuring out what works for me right now and what doesn't, and then doing what I need to do without berating myself and feeling guilty.
In some areas, that means I've stopped trying to do things that are clearly not working at this point in my life. Homeschooling is one of them. Elijah went back to public school a few weeks ago, and it has made a tremendous difference in my emotional state (in a positive way). He is very happy with it too. I'm realizing it's okay to admit that something just isn't working.
In other areas, it means remembering that I am still on the journey myself. I haven't "arrived." No one has. It's okay to not have all the answers. It's okay to mess up. There's no need for me to judge myself so harshly, or to judge others, for that matter. We're all on our own journeys, learning along the way, and doing the best we can in our own day-to-day realities. And that's okay.