When my husband and I got married, let's face it, the odds were against us. I was 17 and a senior in high school, he was 19 and a college student, and I was pregnant. People don't normally look at a situation like that and think, "Oh, that's going to work out great!" Many times, it doesn't work out well at all.
And it was tough, especially the first few years. We were still young and immature, and we said and did several things to each other that were hurtful and inconsiderate. We struggled, we were often distant from each other, and we were both at fault. I remember feeling at times that we were basically roommates. We had very few mutual friends or common interests. Somehow we managed to hang on.
When we had been married for about three years, I began to long for something more, but I didn't know how we could ever get there. It felt like we would have to start anew in so many ways. And so I prayed. I prayed that the slate would be wiped clean and that we could leave old hurts and habits in the past so we would be able to start building something new together. And my prayer was answered. It was amazing how things changed in my heart from that point on. Things improved, but we still had a long way to go.
When we had been married for five years, lots of things changed for us. Several things happened within the time span of just a few months. I joined a message board of other Christian women, and from reading there I began learning so much more about healthy communication and boundaries in marriage. I know the things I read there made a huge difference in me. Around the same time, we both became less dependent on our best friends and more dependent on each other, and we began discovering common interests and goals. And we started going to a new church, where we developed mutual friendships. Those things all sound so simple, but they made a world of difference in our relationship.
Since then, we have grown closer than I ever thought possible. Of course we still have our own interests and hobbies, but we also have common ones. We share important goals and dreams. I feel so blessed to be married to a man who I can truly say is my best friend. It's awesome to look back and see where we've been and how far we've come in the past nine years.